its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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