bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
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