the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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