We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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