Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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