return my video game
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Randomize
