i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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