summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
The dick lei will go down in squad history
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Randomize
