i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Randomize
