I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
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