I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
