big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
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