I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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