TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Randomize
