i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
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