is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Less talking, more tequila
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Randomize
