I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
