Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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