We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
