A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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