He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
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