I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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