My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
