Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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