Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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