dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
