I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
