marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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