Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Randomize
