if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
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