why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
