Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
