Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
