I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
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