So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Randomize
