I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
