So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
