I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I will be naked everywhere
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Randomize
