Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
