feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
