We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Randomize
