Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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