While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
