Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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