He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
