I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
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