they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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