so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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