About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Randomize
