SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
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